I just cut my nipple shaving
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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