I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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