Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
