Is it normal to miss your booty call?
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
