I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
be right there i have to get my cape
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize