I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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