@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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