Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
