Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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