Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
