He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She bit a glass in half.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
