i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
