YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
