I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
two words...techno handjob
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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