shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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