Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
