I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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