he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
