I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
