He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
