I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
