What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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