Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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