I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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