We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
