sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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