May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
