So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
