he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
