operation harelip BJ is a go
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Dicks are not precious.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
