Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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