Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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