Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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