i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
