she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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