its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
