can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
