there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
