What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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