what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I understand Curling. That high.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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