His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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