God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
