We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
im on a boat
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