We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
