I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
