party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
