Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i think my cat just said my name.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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