like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
