Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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