Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
