I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
