I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
