My friends, they love my intelligence
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
