During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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