Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
