She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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