Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
